Untethered Consciousness

I watched them put my body
onto the operating table and

then I guess I blacked out.

I don't know.

The next thing I remember I
was in a room and I could see

my grandmother who I knew was
my grandma because I knew my

grandma when she was alive
and another woman, and they

were standing around what
I describe as a well table.

My guest today is Julie
Northway, who had a near

death experience during a
difficult pregnancy and met

her deceased grandmother
amongst other people.

Julie, welcome and thank
you so much for coming

on the show today.

Thank you for having me.

Julie, could we start with a
little of the background of

your life and then tell us
what happened during your NDE.

Yeah.

I've actually had two
near death experiences.

The first one was the 2007
and the second one was

again related to a pregnancy
with my son in 2009.

So I was in my twenties
for the first one and

in my thirties or late
twenties for the second one.

Before my first
pregnancy in 2007 I was

really very healthy.

I didn't have any
sort of issues.

I was very active.

And this was all
very unexpected.

The pregnancy started off
pretty normal and then

went downhill really fast.

It wasn't something that
I was expecting to happen.

That's a weird
thing to say, right?

But I wasn't expecting to
be dying in my twenties.

I'm 42 now.

So it's definitely
affected my life and

changed my perspective
on how I do things.

And I think I probably
would've gone down a different

path had it not happened.

Not a bad path,
but just different.

So it's affected who I am
and how I view the world.

Let's start with the
first nde since they're

fairly close together.

Can you tell us
what happened there?

So the first one I was
pregnant with my daughter.

At about 21 weeks

I got an infection
and that it was MRSA.

And that went septic and
I went into septic shock.

They had to do an
emergency D&C on me.

And during the emergency
D&C I flatlined and at that

time, I, from what I remember
of what happened before my

near death experience I was
taken to the operating room.

And I remember screaming,
but I couldn't have been

screaming because at that
point the infection was

in my lungs, so I couldn't
breathe without assistance.

So I remember screaming at
the doctors, To not, cuz they

were moving me around, right?

They were moving me from
one table to another and

I remember watching them
and screaming at them

to not move my body.

And then they obviously didn't
hear what I was saying and I

was looking at myself, which
I obviously couldn't have

been doing, but it wasn't
registering like it, it all

seemed very, normal, not
normal, but it didn't seem

like something was amiss.

It just seemed like
the doctors weren't

listening to me.

Once they moved me from one
table to another table, and

it's weird because I felt
the table was metal, the one

they moved me onto, and I
could feel it, I could feel

the cold metal in my body.

But I was looking at
it, if that makes sense.

I think like when you hear
of phantom limbs and things

like that, I've never had
a phantom limb, but when

people describe that,
that's the same sensation.

And I watched them put my body
onto the operating table and

then I guess I blacked out.

I don't know.

The next thing I remember
I was, I don't even wanna

say waking up because I
don't remember being asleep.

I was just all of a sudden
there and I was in a room and

I could see my grandmother who
I knew was my grandma because

I knew my grandma when she was
alive and another woman, and

they were standing around what
I describe as a well table.

So a coffee table
that's round.

But if you look into
the coffee table, light

was coming out of it.

So it was like a circular
well, that light was

coming out of that they
were standing around.

And it was two women.

So my grandmother and another
woman who I didn't recognize.

But who felt very familiar
and very comforting.

And I like to think
that she's family.

Like she felt like maybe
another grandmother that

I didn't know or someone
else or maybe my husband's

grandmother, I don't know.

But she was holding my baby,
which who I just lost and I

didn't really understand or
know that I just lost her.

But the woman that was
with my grandma was holding

her in like a 1970s style
blanket, like the type of

blanket that they used to
put in hotel rooms in the

eighties and the seventies.

And so my baby was wrapped
up in that blanket and

she was holding her and
it was comforting and very

like being with family.

The woman that I didn't
recognize, she was very broad.

And I like to compare
her to Rosie the Riveter

and I don't know,

being in Australia if that is
a reference that makes sense.

But Rosie the Riveter was
a a character that they

used to use to promote
war efforts at home.

She was like a woman that
worked in factories, right?

And she wore like a bandana
and she was really strong

and she would work in the
factories and make, I don't

know, airplane rivets for the
planes that went to Europe.

And that's the sort of the
vibe I got from this woman.

Like 1940s tough lady
or something like that.

Not in a tough beat you up
type of sense, but tough

as in a strong woman who
was also very comforting.

So we were together.

We were communicating, but
there wasn't talking, and

I didn't question anything.

I think that was the oddest
bit, is I just accepted

everything as it was.

It all felt very real.

It was more real
than this is real.

And the conversation was
going back and forth, but

there just weren't any words
and it just made sense.

We mostly spoke about my
daughter because and I've

explained this to other people
before my, my instinct, my

maternal instinct was so on
high alert and I felt like I

was still maybe one foot in
the living and one foot there.

And my maternal instincts
were really needing to

be with my baby and they
weren't letting me hold her.

And they were saying that we
have to be apart and that they

were gonna take care of her.

But I had to go back.

And I was having trouble
processing that, and

there wasn't a rush.

It didn't feel like there was
a time limit for how long I

could stay there or anything.

They were just saying,
no, this isn't how

it's gonna work.

You're gonna need to go back.

We're gonna stay here, we're
gonna take care of her.

And it felt like I was there
for a really long time.

And I wasn't taken away
from them until I could

be, if that makes sense.

So we were there
for a long time.

It was really beautiful.

It was really comforting
and it was almost like

waves or pulsations of
comfort and it was just.

I don't know how to almost
like an echo of comfort and

we didn't leave the room.

We were always in that and
it wasn't really a room

cuz there wasn't a ceiling,
like it was more like a

cave with a well in it.

And it just, it's just
where we were and we

didn't leave that place
until I was taken away.

But we were just
there together, being

with my daughter.

Not allowed to hold
her, but being with her.

Being told that it was
gonna be okay and they were

gonna watch her, and that
I needed to move forward

and I wasn't given a why
I needed to go forward.

I wasn't given a why
I couldn't stay there.

It was just, this isn't
what you're doing right now.

So I'm just gonna pause there,
see if you have any questions

because then they took me
out and I'll get into that.

One I have is when you say
they didn't tell you why you

had to go, did you actually
ask why can't I stay?

No, I didn't ask
too many questions.

I was very demanding.

I was more like, I'm going
to stay, and they would be

like, no, you have to go.

Sometimes people have asked
me what questions did you ask?

Or Did you get answers for
this, or the other thing?

I didn't care.

All I cared about was my
daughter and being with my

daughter and what I was gonna
have to do to protect her or

make sure she was protected.

Like the questions of
the universe or the whys

I couldn't go or things
like that were not on

the top of my list.

So yeah, it was more like,
I'm gonna stay here with

you, and they would be like,
no, that's not gonna happen.

So it was, and again,
with all the love.

It wasn't demanding or
angry or anything like that.

It was just not what
was gonna happen.

So they basically waited
until you were okay to go

and that's when you went.

But there wasn't any
pressure to go, you just

knew that we were gonna

no, and it was And just,
I've heard other people say

this too, time didn't really
exist, so it wasn't like that,

that feeling of you have
until noon or you have until

the sun sets or whatever.

There wasn't that, there
wasn't that ticking time bomb.

So I felt like I was
there with them for a very

long duration of time,
even though I did have

to go at a certain point.

Okay.

I assume that at some
point you came back and

what was your experience
like of coming back?

So what happened was when
it was time to go, another

person, another, I don't,
he didn't feel human.

I don't know what he was.

He came into the room.

He was wearing a long
coat, like a trench coat,

and he didn't really
have facial features.

But he wasn't scary.

He wasn't like, when I
say he didn't have a face,

people are like, ah, but
he wasn't frightening.

He was, again,
very comforting.

And he came in and
communicated to me that

I had to leave with him.

I left with him and again, I
blacked out or I had the same

sensation anyways that I had
between the operating room

and the room with the well.

It was the same sensation.

I was with him.

He said we had to go and
I blacked out and then I

was just in another place.

And this place
was much bigger.

It wasn't like a room, it
was when they say your life

flashes before your eyes.

It was like that, except
it was a landscape.

And instead of seeing images
of places I've been and things

that I did, I saw structures
like on a landscape.

And each structure was
built by relationships

I had with people.

If for my husband for
example, for my husband,

there was a really strong
structure and it had this

radiating light and it was
very big and complicated.

And cuz we've been together
for a long time and there's

a lot of love there.

So it was this grand structure
and then for people that

might have had like a smaller
piece of my life, a teacher

that I had in kindergarten
or something, it might have

been a smaller structure,
but still glowing and still

beautiful or maybe a little
bridge or a little cottage.

And then people that I've been
cruel to or were cruel to me,

there was like dark crumbling,
not radiating structures.

So it was like a landscape of
these magic Legos that some

were glowing, some were dark,
some were grand, some were

little, just little bridges,
like anything you would see,

but made out of these blocks.

And every one of them we sort
of looked at and explored.

And again, time didn't
really seem to matter, and

each one of them introduced
me to the relationship I

built and the connection I
made in life and how that's

reflecting on the other side.

So this is what you
did with your life.

Here it is visually.

This is what your
life looks like in the

grand scheme of things.

And the things that I did
in my life that mattered

were just connections I made
with other conscious things.

It wasn't a degree that I
got or a job that I got,

or a place that I visited.

It was all people
connections, pretty much.

There might have been
some animals in there,

I can't remember.

But for the, from what I
understand, it was human

connections that I made in
life and how my behavior and

my effort and interactions
positively affected those

people and how their
interactions positively

or negatively affected
me and how that sort of

reflected on the other side.

So we just explored that and
explored those different types

of structures for again, like
a long time, even though it's,

it didn't feel long, right?

And every time I mention
time, whether it's in the

room with the well or here,
it's more, we did a lot

than it took a long time.

So we went through all
those structures and we

accomplished a lot of things,
but the idea of it taking

a long time wasn't really a
thing, if that makes sense.

So after we had gone through
this sort of, what people

call a life in review and
looked at all these structures

he took me to a tree.

Like a huge tree that
was moving and like

breathing and you could
see like the tree growing.

And it was going top to
bottom and the branches

were growing out and some of
the branches were breaking

and falling to the bottom.

And the roots would pull those
branches back in and pull

it back up into the tree.

And it was just like this
circular cycle of this

tree that was moving and
growing and the branches

were breaking, falling down,
going back up and growing.

And he stepped back, the
guy with the coat and

encouraged me to move forward.

And I walked up to the tree
and I reached out to touched

it, and then I blacked out or
whatever I was doing again.

And the next thing you know,
I was in the recovery room

and the doctor was saying
that they almost lost me.

Yeah, that was the end of it.

The tree.

I'm fascinated by the tree.

It is like you had a, an
experience that made sense

to you in terms of the way
that your life was reviewed

and it's a pretty common
theme like the life review,

but my understanding is
it's really tailored to

each individual person and
almost how their mind works.

So that part makes sense.

But the tree is interesting
as how there was a

cyclical nature to it.

Did you have any idea
of why they took you

there to show you that?

Other than, oh, this is
just something that's

really interesting.

Did you get a sense of that?

Whatever it was, is
what brought me back

into the living right.

I think I don't know for sure
of any of this, but cuz once

I touched it, I was back.

But the whole concept
of it felt like we're a

family, basically everybody,
everyone's related at

some level, and we're all
part of this organism,

this single organism.

And we all live our lives and
then we die, and then we get

pulled back up into it and
reinvented and are another

part of this single thing.

So that's how I
interpreted it.

He didn't tell me what
it was or anything.

It was really more of just
what came from inside of

me, and that's how I saw it.

Like I'm sure something
in my life connected me to

it or made it so that was
something that I understood.

But it was, it definitely
was showing sort of life

and death and that death
really isn't the end of

life, but part of it.

They're both part of
each other, right?

They're both feeding into
the same thing that, in this

case looked like a tree.

So after you came back,
That must have been hard.

What was that like?

Yes.

I lost my daughter,
so I was a wreck.

That on top of that, I
had also lost my own life.

And I didn't know
how to grasp that.

I wanted to be
with my daughter.

I was put in counseling
and things like that.

I was often asked if I was
suicidal because I would

want to be dead, but I
didn't want to kill myself.

I just wanted to go back to
where I was with my daughter.

And it was hard to communicate
that without sounding like

I wanted to kill myself,
which really wasn't the case.

It was a very difficult
couple of years.

Lots of depression, lots of
just wanting to be back there

with her and not feeling
that I was in reality.

Because that place was so
much more real and vibrant

and like colors were different
and things just, it seemed

like I had woken up when
I was there and now I was

back asleep and I just
wanted to be awake again.

I ended up having two
more children, which have

made my life obviously
completely more worth living

and made me understand
why I needed to come back.

Because if I hadn't come
back, they wouldn't exist.

And they're such an
important part of who I am.

And I'm sure they'll
affect the world in a

way that will change
other people's lives too.

But until I had my son, I
really struggled with sort

of day to day and finding
meaning in like mundane

things throughout life.

But it's hard.

I don't know if that's because
I had a near death experience

or because I lost my daughter.

Like it's, it was other people
I've spoken to that have

had near death experiences
come back and feel sometimes

they have a renewed sense of
life and they try all sorts

of different new things and
go places and meet people.

Others have depression too.

But I definitely feel
like if I hadn't lost my

daughter, it might have
been a different story.

I might have not gone into
as deep of a depression.

I don't blame the near death
experience for the depression.

I blame more that
I lost my daughter.

When you were having
the life review with the

structures representing
each of your relationships

and interactions, you
mentioned that they were all

to do with relationships.

They weren't really to
do with things that you

accomplished or anything else.

Did that change how you
felt about what you wanted

to do with your life when
you, after you came back?

And yes, it definitely did.

I definitely focus more on the
people in my life, my family.

I cut toxic people out faster.

I have stronger relationships
with people that I love and

who love me back and have
these connections with.

My goals are more
family oriented.

I was always very, I was
like, the A student, the

teacher suck up, the person
that always did that.

And same college, and then my
career, it was the same thing.

I was moving very fast.

I was always going for
the promotion before I

probably should have.

I was I think at the time
in 2007, I was traveling

80% of the time for work.

So not fun travel,
boring travel and just

those sorts of things.

And then after it happened
I stopped the work travel.

I still love traveling,
but just not to hotels and

and I, yeah, when I had my
kids, I, everything I do is

in somehow, even the things
I do for myself, somehow

it winds back to my kids.

And I think, a lot of mothers
probably that's the case, but

for me I don't think I had as
much of that in me before I

lost my daughter and my life.

And now the connections I make
with them are strong compared

to, even compared to like
my husband and my parents.

I feel so connected to
them that they're just

incredibly important to me.

My life and my goals are
really much more about my

two kids than about going
for promotions as fast as

I can or things like that.

So yeah,

Do you feel like you have
a more balanced life now?

Definitely.

Maybe almost too homey.

It I

.
I have left jobs that
didn't have like work home

life balance type things.

And I don't take jobs that
don't offer that sort of

world and of availability.

I save money.

I don't wanna sound like
I'm throwing money away,

but if there's something
I can do with my kids and

like I have to throw out the
idea of buying an expensive

outfit or shoes or something.

I definitely spend
it on my kids.

And again, I think a
lot of mothers come to

this conclusion, right?

A lot of people that have
children and love their

children end up doing this
with their children, but this,

my reasoning for it is just
what I saw on the other side.

And other people might have
other reasoning for it,

but I think ultimately when
people have kids, they know

that for their internal
happiness, they wanna

make their children happy.

And my husband too.

My husband and I have a
fantastic relationship.

We've been together 23 years
now and I don't know of

course we fight, of course
there's things like that,

but he's just so important
to me and his role in my

life and our relationship.

And what it's meant to me
over the years has just

been really important.

So I put more of myself into
that and it seems to work.

I find this very
inspirational, this.

When I've started this
channel, I didn't really

know what was gonna happen.

I just wanted to be
able to tell people's

stories and bring

Yeah.

awareness to people.

But yeah, this is a, oh, this
is a, it's a conversation

that's bringing something
out to me and making me

realize how important children
are and relationships are,

and how some other things
are perhaps not quite as

important, and especially the.

Especially that at some
point they, they gr they

grow up, they get old.

They don't want to be,
they don't wanna be

Yeah.

anymore

And they have their own
children and need to

put their whole selves
into that potentially.

They're not gonna be able to
put all of their energy and

relationship energy into me.

They're gonna have to put
that into their partners

or their children or their
community that they put

together for themselves
that's important to them, and

I'm sure that's gonna hurt.

They can create their
world and hopefully that'll

expand mine as well.

And yeah, that'll
be something.

And even outside
of just children.

All the relationships in
my life, like just trying,

and it's impossible to help
everyone, and it's impossible

to be like this perfect
person, but just trying to

be present enough most of
the time to be kind to people

and to not create these
rotten connections and these

negative pieces of life that
you dwell on and think about

and I dunno, create crumbling
structures in the afterlife.

Yeah, just trying to keep
people reasonably respected in

this life and when you can't,
to cut that relationship

off quickly and move forward
and not dwell on it, I

think has been important.

Okay, so your second Ed,
that's, I'll try that again.

Your second NDE that
occurred a couple of years

after your first one.

Could you tell us about that?

Sure this, that this one
was much less dramatic.

I was getting prepped for a
c-section with my first son.

So this was the first
pregnancy after I

lost my daughter.

And I had a reaction to
the anesthesia used in my

spinal for the C-section.

The reaction stopped my
heart and I flatlined again.

The doctors did compressions
on my chest to get me going.

And basically what I saw
is I felt swept out of my

body and I was watching the
doctors chaotically rush

around the room and the
one doctor get on top of me

and do chest compressions.

And they all I've told
this to people before

too, and I always feel
weird saying it, but they

all looked like Russian
dancing bears like spinning

around the operating table.

And it was all very like a
circus, like a weird circus.

And it wasn't negative.

I certainly didn't go to
some loving, wonderful place

like I did the first time.

But at the very least
it was entertaining.

And yeah, I watched
everything happen.

The interesting thing
about that one is

when I came to when.

I woke up the doctor
was on me, so that

was a little scary.

But once the doctor was
off me and I was back

to realizing what just
happened, I felt amazing.

Like it felt like I had
fallen and something

terrible happened.

But then someone lifted me
up and I was completely fine.

Like I felt ready to have
that C-section and better than

I had felt in a long time.

And it was really good.

And they sent me to the, ICU,
the intensive care unit after

to have my heart monitored
to make sure I was okay.

And I was just like in a
great mood the whole time.

And I was talking to the
nurses and everything

and they were just
like, okay, she's fine.

But it was, I was in a
really good mood after that

second near death experience.

It's like you got energized
while you were, while

Yeah, it was

realm.

It was, yeah, it was like
I got a zap of something

and was able to come
back to, and it was good.

Because obviously the
situation wasn't great cuz

I was getting a C-section,
it was like an emergency

C-section, so I hadn't been
feeling good and then all

of a sudden I was fantastic.

So it was all worth it.

So have you had any
changes in, have you had

any special abilities that
you've acquired that you

might call, some people
might call them paranormal.

It doesn't really,
whatever you'd like to

call it, but anything
like that has happened?

So I've told, again, I
don't know if these are

abilities cuz they could l
just be dreams, I don't know.

But I do have dreams with
people that have passed

over and it's always in
the same sort of place.

It's always in a room.

I can always tell it's one of
those dreams because they have

a flower, like they're either
wearing a flower or they

have a bouquet of flowers,
or they're wearing like a

Hawaiian shirt if it's a guy.

But there's always a flower
and there's always some

chairs to sit and talk.

And it's just like a visit.

With my grandpa, someone
I see a lot some of my

husband's relatives I see.

And I don't know who they are.

And then I.

Explain them the next day
and he'll say, oh, that's,

my uncle Chuck or whatever.

And I've had these, I
often have a lot of them

right before someone
is about to pass away.

And yeah, and those are, I
don't like to share those

because they're hard for
the people around me, but

I usually see like people
getting ready for them.

Like their brothers or their
mothers or whoever had passed

before them are preparing
things and I'm there standing

around in the way and they're
like, oh, we're getting

this party together for so
and and it's a celebration.

And yeah, they usually pass
in the day or two after that.

And that's, I don't know.

It's comforting to me,
but I know it's probably

not to some other people.

I don't like to bring that
up to family that often.

But I also see a couple
times a year, I have a

dream or something where
entities like the man in

the trench coat come and
they ask me a bunch of

questions usually about aging
and dying or generations.

So oftentimes they'll show
me like a mental image

of my grandma and then
a mental image of my mom

and a mental image of me.

And ask me, just explain like
how they're different people.

Cuz so like we see one woman
here, are they different

women or are they one woman?

Are they the same person
or are they three different

people type of a thing.

And then I explained to them
that like in generations,

like your blood passes down so
you're sharing the same blood,

but you're different people
with different consciousness.

So again, I don't
know if it's a dream.

I don't know if it's real,
but it feels like that

same, those same colors
that I saw when I was on

the other side, the same
sensation, the same feeling

when I have those dreams.

And each time that
occurs, do you have a

different understanding?

Do you have a different
answer to that question?

No, it's usually always
the same, and they're

always different entities.

It's almost like training
time or like, oh, these

guys are the angels in
training or something,

and they have some questions
for you as a living thing.

And again, I don't know
if they're angels, I don't

know what they are, but
they're always, it's always

like a different group
and they come and they ask

me questions about what
it's like to be alive.

So like this, but
the other way.

Yeah.

Speaking of questions,
people are probably gonna

wanna ask you questions
after this interview.

Do you mind people
contacting you?

So I don't do this as a thing,
like I don't have a book or

a website or anything, which
makes it a little tough.

I have my email address
I can give to you.

And if someone reaches out
and really needs to talk to

me or has some question, I'd
be happy to talk to them.

And if somebody's super
keen, then I'll pass them on.

Excellent.

Also, I love the word keen
and I wish we used it in

the United States more, and
I've been actively trying

to push people to use it,
so I just, it's like you.

keen as

Yeah great word.

Yeah, I use it a lot.

Okay.

Any final message for
people who might be

watching this Julie?

Just that this was what
I experienced as far

as what I could observe
and feel and see.

I don't know what's real
and what's not, but it

felt very real to me.

And I don't know, maybe
other people have different

experiences, what you said
based on your understanding,

they show you what you
need to see in order

to process everything.

Hopefully people that
have similar brains that

work like mine might be
able to connect with this.

But I don't think any of us
all have all the answers,

but I can definitely share
what I experienced and

hopefully that'll bring some
comfort to somebody else.

Julie, thank you so much
for coming on the show.

I've really enjoyed
this conversation.

It's made me think
about some things that I

hadn't realized before.

So thank you for that and
I appreciate your time.

That's great.

Thank you so much for being
up very early and talking

to me or very late, or
however you wanna say it.

Oh, you're welcome.